YeeHaw! Out of Control Cooter

Honestly, could anyone pen a better headline?  Check out this story regarding Ben Jones, better known as Cooter from the Dukes of Hazzard – the real one not that Jessica Simpson crap.  Cooter (I love saying it) guesses he drank 43,000 beers; drank 2,000 jugs of whiskey, wine, gin and vodka; and smoked pounds of pot in a 20 period.

Hot damn!  I used to feel like a king when I’d knock out a six pack watching a football game.  I’m going to go put my skirt back on.

Once Again I Beat Wifey!

This weekend I triumphed once again. King, our second child, said Dada and Daddy. He says no other words, right now, he’s only 7 months.

Lil’ Man also said Dada first, much to Wifey’s chagrin. In fact Lil’ Man said a whole host of other words before he said Mama at 15 months. He said Dada at 8 months.

So what it boils down to is that after 9 months of carrying the rugrats in her womb, a very uncomfortable 9 months, enduring childbirth twice, and endless days and nights of breastfeeding, my boys know who really runs the show! I am so proud.

More Publishers’ Clearinghouse Sweepstakes on the Way

Ed McMahon’s house is in foreclosure.  According to him, he has a solid grasp of economics 101 as he told Larry King “Well, if you spend more money than you make, you know what happens. And it can happen. You know, a couple of divorces thrown in, a few things like that. And, you know, things happen.”

Although, I think skirt chasing may be his undoing.  Two divorces and now, Pam McMahon his much much younger third wife, must be rethinking he decision to marry Fixodent’s next celebrity spokesman.

In the meantime, I expect to be a possible $10 million winner!

Are you people insane?

I was aghast yesterday to learn that two gorgeous women were removed from a Seattle Mariners game.  Their crime?  They were kissing.  Now they claim to have been having a nice day out as a couple, giving each other some affectionate kisses. Some others claimed that they were making out and groping each other.

As a result, some complained that they would have to explain to their kids why two women were kissing.  To them (particularly Jim Ridneour of Seattle), I say shut the fuck up and remove the stick from your ass.

You should not interfere with a such a beautiful thing as rare as a lunar eclipse.   Watching two women make out is a beautiful thing (unless of course one of them looks like this).  The fact that it was happening at a baseball game is gravy.

As far as your kids are concerned, I don’t see the problem with telling kids that people in love (or lust) kiss.  It’s only natural.

Let Them Marry

It may come as a huge surprise to my loyal readers (which judging by the ratings are few), but I am apparently liberal. Although, I consider myself more of a moderate.

I believe in gun control, a woman’s right to choose, and taxes. But I am also a strong supporter of tough crime laws, fiscal responsibility, and the death penalty. I am also not a fan of affirmative action.

But what puts me firmly in the camp of the liberals is my belief that homosexuals should have the right to marry. There is no logical reason to prohibit the arrangement. Marriage is a contract and nothing more. If you think I am kidding, then go talk to a lawyer.

Historically, a marriage contract was between the father of the bride and the groom. The bride was considered the property of her father and he gave his daughter in exchange for the promise from the groom that the father would not have the cost of keeping the bride alive. Usually, the father paid the groom a dowry to help defray the cost.

The idiots running many state governments (and my beloved USA) who attend zealot christian churches would have you believe otherwise. They say that marriage has been always the dominion of a man and a woman. According to them , it’s in the bible for fucks sake.  I am no religious scholar, but I seem to recall that many if not all of the men in the bible had multiple wives: Abraham, Issac, Joseph, Jacob, etc. Not one man and one woman as idiot Bush would have you believe.

So marriage is now between two people who love each other and want to contract to spend their lives together. Who are we to tell them that because both have the same genitalia that they are different and inferior? I won’t and can’t believe that any decent, honest American would either. I hope the people of California support the efforts of Steve Smith and the Equity for All Effort. See the story here.