A True Hero – Robert N. Klein

Sad, but true story.  A guy I knew and used to work with died this Memorial Day morning.  He drowned trying to save his 11 and 14 year old sons from a rip current.  Thankfully, they survived and are doing as well given the circumstances.  See the story and tributes here, here, and here.  He was 49 and died a hero.

He was all about his family and helping his community.   We will miss you Bobby.

DOH!

If Wifey left me home alone while she went on an out of town trip, I might do some stuff for myself. For instance, I might go to some bars. I could watch all the sports I wanted and smoked my cigars without a care. I might even go fishing. What I would not do is pay a chick $100 an hour for something Wifey is obligated to do – clean the house.

But that’s just me. Apparently, an unnamed 50 year old Tampa man thought it would be a good idea to pay $100 to have a woman clean his house while she was naked. I’m sorry there is absolutely nothing attractive about that. Not only did she clean the floors, she clean the wife’s jewelry box too. See the story here.

Now his wife is going to clean his clock! Should have gone to a strip club you moron.

Mon Dieu!

Michel Fournier, 64, is a former French paratrooper who spent $20 million and 20 years designing and building a balloon that would allow him to fall from 25 miles up.  Instead of his original plan of determining the effects of a fall from 25 mi have on the human body (which I theorize will result in one nasty crepe), Fournier has created another example of what happens when you let go of the string.  See the story from CNN here.

We All Know This Guy

I grew up in a little suburb called Coral Springs, Florida. Manicured lawns were everywhere – both the yards and our ladies if you know what I mean . Coral Springs is clean (except for the “renters” who are avoided at all costs), crime free (except for all the crimes that the police never disclosed on the blotter), and full of rich little shits with major inferiority complexes (not quite as wealthy as nearby Boca Raton). Everyone drives a Lexus or a Beemer. I am shocked I have not seen Coral Springs kids on shows like My Super Sweet Sixteen.

There was this arrogant prick who went to school with me. This was the guy who really wasn’t the brightest but acted like a charming know it all. The guy whose parents didn’t realize that their child was utterly full of shit all of the time. The guy who’d throw you under the bus if it made him look better (which he needed to do cause he really wasn’t that smart) or push grandpa out of the way to get at grandma. You all know the guy I’m talking about.

The guy from my past is Michael Duga, Jr. This guy was a Jewish Greg Marmalard, Stan Gable, and Glenn Gulia rolled into one – without the looks (see the above picture) or the money (he’s from Coral Springs for crying out loud – not Boca). It is because of this guy that I developed a severe distaste for Ohio State (fuck you OSU and fuck your “The” too – Go Gators!).

I have the pleasure of knowing that he did not come out on top. He was recently sentenced for his August 2007 crashing a John Edwards’ fund-raiser near Martha’s Vineyard in which he claimed to be responsible for the Edwards’ campaign security. According to the local authorities, he’s a career criminal with a history or drug abuse and petty crimes – something conveniently left off his LinkedIn profile.

You’ve done real well for yourself – even got to work with the Secret Service! Thanks for letting me know I was right about you all along Michael. Apparently, I’m not alone. I’m really not alone.  Damn it man, have you no control?

By the way, I love your photo for the next high school reunion.