Lil’ Man is Growing Up

Lil’ Man got the flu.   That means Wifey gets to play hooky this week.  While Lil’ Man is acting a little pathetic today, he Ferris Buellered the shit out of Wifey.

She and Lil’ Man are getting ready to take a nap in our bed.  The love of my life decides that it would be a good idea for Lil’ Man to get me sick by telling him to sleep on my side of the bed (I just can imagine all those flu viruses taking refuge in my pillow).

He was having none of that.  He may be sick, but Lil’ Man still was sharp.  He kept trying to get on her side, but she kept blocking him.  Then, he found his opportunity – “Softie” his dirty, saliva stained bundle of softness was lying on the floor – just out of Wifey’s reach.

So Lil’ Man, the chip off the ole block that he is, asked for Softie in only that doe eyed way every 2 year old suffering from flu can pull off.  Wifey’s bullshit meter was already in nap mode so she got up to get it for him.

Bam!  It happened that quick – Lil’ Man slid over and claimed the side of the bed he wanted.

I couldn’t have done it better myself.  I was so proud today.

Having Kids Really Hampers and Encourages Drinking

This morning, I read a great post from Dad Gone Mad. Danny Evans spent his morning-after recovery doing arts and crafts at Sunday school. I feel for the guy (although that’s what he gets for sending his kids to Sunday school).

As all parents know, drinking is a vital component of child-rearing. Drinking was probably involved when you first met your spouse (p.c. – other biological parent of your offspring). If your kid(s) were not the result of a drunken one night stand (or weekend drug fueled orgy), you and your partner probably needed alcohol to motivate the other to forgo sleep for another round of routine sex after a long day.

Once you have the little rugrats, you need to drink just to calm down at the end of the night (why do you think wet bars are so popular in the suburbs? It ain’t for the guests.) Of course, when the little shits wake you up at 7, 6, or if you are really lucky 5, the next morning, you regret that last drink.

I just can’t wait until Lil’ Man is 16 – hello designated driver!