I’m old. I mean damn, I’m 32. I’ve got a job, a wife, 2 kids, a mortgage payment, grey hair and now a fuckin’ minivan! What’s worse is I drove the thing to work today to pick up a nice table for my house! Fuck! What the hell happened to me!
If Wifey doesn’t get down on her knees and thank me in that way a wife does once a year (instead of once a day before she got the ice), I think I am going to cry. That’s right a grown man will cry. Cause you know what nothing goes my way.
It wasn’t supposed to be this way. I mean I should not have
- tight clothes,
- a receding hair line or an expanding waist line,
- to watch HGTV,
- to be active in the community,
- responsibilities,
- the music I listened to in my early teens end up on a classic rock station,
- not be able to play video games whenever I want,
- go furniture shopping,
- friends who frown on drinking before 5 (or noon for that matter),
- to beg Wifey for a hummer or any action, or
- own a motherfucking minivan!
That’s it. I’m going home and flog the bishop before heading out to watch a movie (which I get to pick) and then go home drink and play some video games (and maybe flog the bishop again cause that’s the only action I get).
Mar 14, 2008 at 7:59 PM |
Happy Birthday. On the bright side, only 13 more years until you can justify buying a two seat sports car and cruising the local college campus…
Mar 14, 2008 at 11:29 PM |
Thanks man. The kids are only 3, I’ve got a couple of more years to go. But on the bright side, I gave Wifey free reign in her selection of a minivan. I plan on getting whatever I want when my current lease expires. I’m thinking small lux sports sedan – like a 3 series or CTS.
Mar 15, 2008 at 12:29 AM |
Free reign in selecting a minvan? I’m only 29, no kids, but that still made me throw up a bit in my mouth. Through my “bad-ass” Accord Sedan doesn’t turn any heads.
The CTS is nice, but the 3 series drives like god would want, if god felt like driving rather than just hovering, or whatever the hell he does up there.
Mar 15, 2008 at 12:31 AM |
Oh yeah, #3, 5, and 8 on the list above are painfully true. I’d rather eat shards of fiberglass.
Mar 15, 2008 at 11:05 PM |
Dude we traded in the accord for the minivan. Basd to worse.
I drove a CTS once. Drive nice. I just saw an article on the new Jag, I think the XF. sounds real nice