I’m old. I mean damn, I’m 32. I’ve got a job, a wife, 2 kids, a mortgage payment, grey hair and now a fuckin’ minivan! What’s worse is I drove the thing to work today to pick up a nice table for my house! Fuck! What the hell happened to me!
If Wifey doesn’t get down on her knees and thank me in that way a wife does once a year (instead of once a day before she got the ice), I think I am going to cry. That’s right a grown man will cry. Cause you know what nothing goes my way.
It wasn’t supposed to be this way. I mean I should not have
- tight clothes,
- a receding hair line or an expanding waist line,
- to watch HGTV,
- to be active in the community,
- responsibilities,
- the music I listened to in my early teens end up on a classic rock station,
- not be able to play video games whenever I want,
- go furniture shopping,
- friends who frown on drinking before 5 (or noon for that matter),
- to beg Wifey for a hummer or any action, or
- own a motherfucking minivan!
That’s it. I’m going home and flog the bishop before heading out to watch a movie (which I get to pick) and then go home drink and play some video games (and maybe flog the bishop again cause that’s the only action I get).
Posted by Married with Children 
